This is just a little post, I don’t usually share my relationship on my blog as I like to keep it personal, but I thought I should. Maybe it will inspire you, maybe it will irritate you, (hope not) haha, but in all honesty its more of a “not all fairytales come along the way we think”.
While I sit in our new apartment in Worcestershire, I have been reflecting a lot on mine and Simon’s relationship, and how we have ended up here, after all the roller coaster rides!
Simon and I met in a nightclub… I know what you thinking “You can’t find love in a club.” bla bla. But, to be completely honest, the last thing I was looking for at that moment was love. I had just been royally screwed over and literally hated men, I wanted me time, and time to learn to love me for me. I promised myself I wouldn’t date someone until the new year (it was September), and before I was royally screwed over I was in a long term relationship, where I was “comfortable” and I “settled”. So I wasn’t looking for a anything, I would run in the other direction if someone showed any interest, BUT does anything in life ever go as planned? definitely not! But, it happened and it was the best thing that ever happened.
Now, don’t get me wrong, our relationship isn’t perfect. We fight, we argue, we disagree, but that is how I knew I was in something real and something special. He challenges me, he gets me out of my comfort zone, he makes me push my boundaries and limits to places I didn’t realise I could. He accepts me for me. He is everything I wanted in a man. So many people these days are looking for that “fairytale”, but honey, Prince charming aint gonna ride up to your castle and kiss you while you’re sleeping! I would call the police if you get that…. Sometimes things happen when we least expect it, when we aren’t looking, when we are out making other plans. I had started accepting myself and respecting myself. I was feeling great. When I look back now, I am so happy that everything happened the way it did.
After a year of dating, Simon got the call to move to another city for his rugby, 13 hours away! I was devastated but knew that the move was the best for him and his career. I won’t lie, our relationship took strain over the first year. We were both extremely busy and I didn’t have weekends off due to being a sports coach and him having games almost every other weekend. It would be weeks before we would see each other again. At the end of 2015, after 2 years of long distance, I decided it was time for me to move and be with him and start our lives together. I couldn’t stand the goodbyes and not waking up next to him anymore. Little did I know what was about to happen. My horses had already moved, and I had resigned from a job I absolutely loved. Four days before the removal company was coming to collect my furniture, the Union Simon was with went to (for a lack of a better word) shit…. They cut many players contracts, they owed and still owe players money, families couldn’t pay school fees and mortgages. It was absolutely heartbreaking and I know the other girls agree, seeing the man I love be in this position, I was on the phone when he received the e-mail to say he was one of the players that were getting cut. His voice was enough to send me over edge into tears. Luckily there was light! He immediately got an offer from a rugby club in the UK – Jersey Reds. It was the best decision we could have made. The first months were tough, we came in mid-season and it was challenging to find our feet. We eventually got it though. I was only on a tourist visa and if I wanted to stay longer I would have to go home and sort out another visa. This took 3 months!! Simon came home for a bit and that was when he popped the question! When he went down on his knee, there was no hesitation, no doubt in my mind that this man, right here, was THEE person, MY person, that I wanted to annoy for the rest of my life. After 18 months in Jersey and him really putting his heart into it, he got a call from Worcester Warriors, they had notice him and liked what they saw. He now finds himself in a fantastic Premiership team in the UK. His rugby takes him all over and often I spend weekends on my own, but if it wasn’t for the time before Simon and I started dating and for doing long distance for two years, and how I learnt to be on my own, maybe I would struggle. I love having me time! Some people think its a glamorous life, being with an athlete, but its tough. They travel a lot, their training is extremely intense, and they have to make a lot of sacrifices- birthdays, weddings, births of friends kids, family holidays and funerals. But, their career is only a few years, unlike any other profession and I will 100% back him until he decides its time. But until then, Im ok going to things on my own and will always support him.
Simon and I have had many ups and downs, but through this all we have come out stronger. There were times that either of us could have just quit, and said enough is enough and this is too much to deal with. There were times he would pick me up off the floor because I was crying so much, and just hold me. We decided to fight. For us, and for our relationship. At the same time with all the moving we grew as individuals and as a couple. THIS, is so important! You are not the person you are with, you need to make sure you don’t loose your identity of who you are, and what you want out of life. Stay true to yourself, but also learn how to grow together in your relationship. He can still irritate me with leaving his shoes around our place, but there is no one else’s shoes I would rather pick up. I am the farthest from perfect, but he loves me perfectly.
My message to you is, lovelies, don’t give up when it gets tough, when people say to you “I don’t know how you deal with it?” you just do. You have that inner fight that is just waiting to come out. Its part of who we are. Don’t think its easy, nothing in life thats really good, ever came easy 🙂
These are some of our engagement pics I wanted to share with you that my beautiful friend did for us while we were in Cape Town recently.